DAY 25: 30 Day NO-BUY Challenge

We are using day 25 of our 30 Day NO-BUY Challenge to learn how stop downgrading ourselves so people can finally see the confident, grounded version of us that is already there. When we receive compliments without deflecting, show up calm instead of frantic even if we are late, and stop apologizing for our bare face or “messy” days, we shift how we feel and how others experience us. Today we are practicing tiny language and energy shifts that help us retire the “I am a mess” identity and walk through the world as poised, warm, and truly ourselves.

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ACTION STEPS:

Ways to consider how to show up more confident...

1. Catch your compliment reflex

   Today, when someone compliments you, pause and notice your first instinct. Instead of downgrading, practice one short response like, “Thank you, that means a lot,” and let yourself actually feel it.

2. Edit one downgrading phrase

   Notice where you say things like “I am such a mess,” “Don’t look at me,” or “I look awful today.” Pick one phrase you use a lot and decide a new, more neutral or kind version to say instead.

3. Plan your “running late” script

   If we tend to show up late, write one calm text we can send the host when it happens, and one short, grounded sentence we will use when we walk in, without a big frantic story.

4. Practice a no‑makeup (or low‑effort) moment

   Choose one low‑stakes outing this week where we will show up with less makeup or less “done,” and challenge ourselves to say nothing negative about our appearance.

5. End‑of‑day check‑in

   Tonight, quickly reflect: Where did I downgrade myself today? Where did I choose confidence instead? Celebrate one tiny win, even if it is just catching the habit.

FULL TRANSCRIPT:

Intro

Hello, I'm Casey, your fashion bestie, and you are on day 25, a 30 day no by challenge. And together we're sparking a fashion, wellness, revolution. where we are getting rid of all the style insecurities you've ever been taught. and rebuilding a healthier relationship with your closet and yourself. Today's topic is how you have the power to determine how people see you. Mm hmm, my friends. The best way to do this is to give you examples.

Example 1: Compliments and downgrading yourself

So when someone gives you a compliment and says, Oh, you look great today. How many times have you said something like, Oh, this shirt is just so old? I don't even know why I put it on, or something like, oh, it just doesn't fit me right. I need to lose a little bit of weight. When you use comments like that, you are downgrading yourself and you are actually telling people how you want them to see you. Instead of them seeing you as looking great, like they complimented you on, they are now seeing all of the soda safe flaws and insecurities you just pointed out. If you do not want people to view you as insecure, then you have to stop shutting down their compliments with your insecurity and handing them permission to see you that way. If you were to simply say, thank you, confidently, then they would just see you as someone who looks great and feels confident, and they would continue on with that version of you in their head. So for me, I usually say, wow, thank you. That means so much to me. Or if you really weren't feeling yourself that day, maybe the most you can say is, oh wow, I really wasn't sure about this outfit, but you really made my day. Thank you. You can see how that shifts the energy of the conversation with the 2 different answers. Also, it does something so good for your soul when you actually stop and feel the warmth of a compliment. Accept it, let it in, let it soak into your heart instead of deflecting it every time. All these little moments, where you receive instead of reject, help build your confidence, and help express your style in a more positive light.

Example 2: Showing up late, frantic vs calm

Let's give another couple of examples. I have so many, but these are the ones that come to mind. Okay, we're gonna talk about showing up late and frantic or showing up late and calm and cool and collective. Okay. How many times have you or seen someone show up late to an event? They come in, they go to the host and they're like, 0 my gosh, I'm so sorry I'm late. There was so much traffic. I like hit every red light, I like spilled coffee on myself, and then I did this, and then I did that, and I'm so, so sorry, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you're running into the event with this type of frantic energy. All of a sudden the tension is on you. You might not have known this, but you kind of broke the vibe of the event and everyone's like, oh, okay, this person's here and they're so frantic. And imagine what you think of them automatically. You think, oh my gosh, they're kind of a mess. Oh my gosh, like what, what's going on? And it feels like emergency. It feels frantic. Like, whoa, you know? And so you kind of label this person, whether you know you are or not. So that used to be me. I used to go into events and be late and have all the excuses and feel so bad. So I started to switch that for myself. Maybe about 5 years ago, realizing how I was showing up to events when I was late was not who I wanted to make my sometimes 1st impression around a lot of people, right? And so I decided to do this. I'd switched it where, if I was running late, I'd text the host, or I would text someone that I knew was already there, that they could tell the host and just say, I'm so sorry I'm running late, and gave her a little reason why I didn't ramble. And then knew they were going to either see it before the event or see it after, and I would walk in, cool, common, collective, quiet, and kind of just slide in and join wherever the event was at, instead of making it all about me. And we don't think we're making it all about us, but we kind of are. And then maybe even after apologize to the host as you're leaving, like, hey, I'm so sorry, I was late, and say it calmly and not announcing it, right? Also, when you arrive like that frantically and you head to the host and you express, you know, why you were late, you might be breaking her flow as a host. The host generally has some sort of post energy energy she needs to put forth into all the people that have come to her event, and you coming in and showing up frantic might even bust her energy of her flow. When I started to realize these things, I shifted. There was way too much uninvited attention. I was bringing to myself that I decided, wait a minute, I don't want to show up this way. So this happens in different places in life, not just being late. So, where can you imagine, in your life, as you go through, that you are showing up frantic and you're getting this unwanted attention? And then if you are doing that, see how we can shift that and how we can decide, wait a minute, this is not making me show up. Confidently, poised and welcoming. Because sometimes when we're showing up frantic, people are like, oh, I don't know if I want to talk to that person. They seem like a bit of a mess, right? And a lot of people have attached themselves to that as who they are. I have a dear friend that even makes so many jokes about herself when she's late, when she arrives, and it is funny. But now that is her identity as what we see her. When we talk about her, she has given us permission to kind of make fun of her and bag on her about her being late all the time. And I started realizing, I want her to stop that because it's allowing us to talk that way about her. She's a highly successful person. She has a lot going on, and when we know that about a person, we tend to forgive them when they are late to things, because we know they have a lot going on. Especially if they walk in cool and calm and collect it. But if they walk in frantic and all the time, just like, 0 my gosh, blah, blah, blah, blah. you then think that way about her and we do. I would love for her to stop doing that It would just be a little more healthy, because this is a thing, when we can switch that about how we show up, it's not putting on a fake front. It's just infusing back your confidence and realizing that you don't have to be that frantic way. I feel less frantic because I stopped being less frantic. It's not that I'm still frantic and I'm faking who I am. It's that because I started realizing I came with this frantic energy, I stopped with the frantic energy and then I feel less frantic. So it kind of goes both ways.

Example 3: No makeup and not downgrading yourself

Another quick example is when you, maybe you didn't get fully ready or you weren't able to put on your makeup and you feel really insecure, and then you go out and immediately show up to that group of friends and you downgrade yourself. Oh my gosh, don't look at me. I wasn't able to put on any makeup or 0 my gosh, don't look at me. I look really messy today. I only know this because I used to do this. I used to always have to have my makeup on. And I would walk in if I didn't get a chance to put my makeup and I would just immediately be like, okay, don't look at me. I don't have any makeup, but I sort of realized I was downgrading myself. I was bringing attention to where I was in secure. And so you're allowing people to be like, oh my god, Casey doesn't ever make a bond. She must be a mess today or something must be wrong today. And I was giving people permission to think that way about me when really they could have not cared at all. This switch for me in 2020 when it was COVID and I had kids and I moved into a very social community. So you could walk outside and you would see 5 neighbors or so. And I started to think, you know what? What if I just showed up confidently with no makeup and didn't say anything? And this is just who I am now. And so I started to do that. I just did what I could for the energy I had as being a new mom. And it really switched my way of thinking about makeup. I, half the time, don't wear makeup out now with groups of friends, and I'm confident in it. And so I switched that for myself because I stopped downgrading myself every time I would see someone if I didn't have makeup on. I decided, you know what, I'm gonna become comfortable without any makeup. I'm not gonna tell anyone I don't have makeup on, and I'm gonna show up confident because that shows them, oh, Casey doesn't really care if she has makeup on or not. She still shows up confident and I'm gonna be confident with her. I even had a friend when I saw her, I was like, oh, I don't have any makeup on today, blah, blah, blah. And she looked at me, she said, well, that's kind of your thing. And I said, oh, my gosh, like, that has become my thing. And even though I'm in fashion, even though this is my field, even though people know that I love to dress up, they also know that I'm fine not being in makeup as well. And that it doesn't bother me. And so I allowed people to feel that way around me instead of thinking, okay, she doesn't have makeup on today. She must be feeling like a mess.

Mindset shift and takeaway

We truly have the ability and power to determine how people see us. So that is my nugget for today. That is just what I want you to take away and think about is where are you showing up frantic? Where are you showing up downgrading yourself, dismissing yourself? I want you to stop dismissing yourself. I want you to lift yourself up. So go through, not just today, the whole year, your whole life. And see where you are downgrading yourself. Where are you dismissing yourself? And let's take that language out of our lives and pump ourselves up. And maybe it's not pumping ourselves up. or just eliminating the downgrading language, right? So, my friends, take that today, take that into your life. I hope the implementations are going well. Please let me know if I can help you. I am Casey, your fashion, bestie. I will be back in a couple days.