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DAY 22: 30 Day NO-BUY Challenge

From Competition To Celebration

We are using day 22 of our 30 Day No Buy Challenge to step out of competition and into confidence. We are learning to feel more at peace in our own lane, more appreciative of other people instead of judgmental, and more joyful and grounded when we scroll social media. By choosing celebration over comparison, we are protecting our mental health, strengthening our fashion wellness, and creating a kinder, lighter experience with our closets and our feeds.

REMEMBER that you have a link that you can submit any questions OR share any outfits you have created. Fashion Bestie: Ask & Share form



HERE IS THE PDF OF THE 14 DAY IMPLEMENTATION for you to save and reference.

If you post images on Instagram tag me @wearjoyproject

ACTION STEPS:

  1. Notice where we’re competing.

    As we scroll social media or get dressed, we pay attention to when we feel “less than,” like we need to keep up, or like we’re trying to be better than someone else. We simply notice, “Oh, this is competition mode.”

  2. Take ourselves out of the race.

    When we catch that feeling, we gently remind ourselves that we do not have to be in that race. We imagine stepping off that main racetrack and walking our own lane, at our own pace, in our own style.

  3. Shift from judging to appreciating.

    When we see outfits or aesthetics we don’t personally love, we practice appreciating the effort and expression instead of judging. We can think, “That’s their personal style, and we love that they’re doing them.”

  4. Curate a “goodness” feed.

    We look at who we follow and intentionally fill our feed with people whose energy, creativity, and expression feel good, even if their style is different from ours. We allow a wide range of styles and celebrate them.

  5. Practice being cheerleaders online.

    As we scroll, we consciously choose to be the biggest cheerleaders. When someone gets a new car, a new house, fitness progress, or a big win, we practice saying (out loud or in our head), “Yes, get it, we’re so proud of you.”

  6. Catch jealousy and reframe it.

    When jealousy or comparison pops up, we gently pause and switch to gratitude for what we already have, and pride for that person’s hard work and success. We remind ourselves that someone else’s joy does not take away ours.

  7. Check in with how we feel afterward.

    After trying this for a day (or even one scroll session), we notice how our body and mind feel. We take note if our social media experience feels lighter, calmer, or more joyful when we choose appreciation instead of competition.

 

FULL TRANSCRIPT:

Intro

Yeah. Hello, I'm Casey, your fashion bestie. You are on day 22 of the 30 day No By Challenge. And together, we are sparking a fashion wellness revolution, where we are getting rid of all the style and securities you've ever been taught and rebuilding a healthier relationship with your closet and yourself.

What We’re Talking About Today: Competition

Today, we're mind shifting about where we stand with competition. Whenever we are looking at Instagram and we're trying to keep up with the Joneses, or we're feeling less than because we don't have the same things as others, that is generally competition. It is feeling like we need to either be up with people, or we're feeling less than because of other people, or we need to, not all the times, maybe need to feel better than other people. Sometimes you feel that. But all of those equal the feeling of competition when we're looking at other people, and this is so much of how we feel about style and ourselves, and so we are going to just mind shift this a little bit, and how we can make this better in our lives.

We only see others as competition when we're trying to be like others. If we take ourselves out of the race, then we stop feeling that way. Take yourself completely out of it.

Trends, The “Race,” And Your Own Lane

An example of this goes back to trend. If you are always trying to be trendy, it will feel like you are in this race to always have the hottest, newest thing. For me, I don't feel that anymore. I have taken myself completely out of the race. I go by my own personal style, sure, like I say, I let trends inspire me, but I don't let it dictate me or make me feel less than if I'm not, so to say, up with the trend.

I go with my own personal style. I go into my own race. everyone else is in this race over here. I'm, like, walking along another racetrack, just minding my own business, because that's where I feel comfortable. I have a personal style that I love, and I don't really wear things and then go out and say, 0 my gosh, do I fit in? Is this what we're doing now? I don't really care, right? So we want to take ourselves out of the competition.

How We’ve Been Taught To Compete And Judge

One thing to be aware of is, as women, we are pitted as competitors against one another. That's just the nature of how we have been brought up. We have been picked against each other. We have been told that there is a worse stressless, and so we judge these people that are on the worst restless. We have been taught that it is our duty to judge everyone else out there if we don't like their style.

But let me switch this for you, and let's become aware of when we are becoming really judgmental about other people's style, because who are we to judge other people? No, to love style is to appreciate all style.

Filling Your Feed With Appreciation

So when we look at our Instagram feed, instead of going, ugh, what are they wearing? Maybe let's have an appreciation for their effort and their own personal style. So we talked about filling your social media feed with goodness, and that can be all different styles. I have so many people that I follow that are not my style, but I really appreciate their efforts. I really appreciate their expression, and I just love watching people express themselves in different ways. So that is the goodness that fills my social media feed.

So like I said, to love style is to appreciate all style. So follow people that aren't just your own personal style, follow a lot of styles and appreciate them. We have been taught to judge other style, and if you don't like it, we shit on it, right?

Story Time: Meghan Markle’s Wedding Dress

I have a story for you. So I don't know if you remember when Meghan Markle got married. Obviously, it was a big deal. Big news. And I was sitting there with my friend watching their wedding, and she was just like, Ugh, what is her dress? It's so ugly. Blah, blah, blah. yada, yada, yada.

And I like kind of was taken back because one, let's celebrate this day that someone's celebrating their love, right? And then two, yes, the dress wasn't my own personal style, but I did not have this visceral feeling of dislike for it. I was just like, she should do her. Like if that is what she feels great in, let's celebrate her. Let's cheer her on and let's not shit on everyone, right?

And so I found this moment of judgment that I was like, this is so common for women, that we judge others, if they're not in something that we approve of, and who are we to say that? We should celebrate people, celebrate the style they show up and celebrate what they feel good in. And let's encourage each other to show up in a personal style that speaks to their heart.

So let's not judge, but appreciate. This is against what we've been taught. It's an unconscious thing that we have been programmed to do, so we need to now make it conscious and switch it. Our mental health will be so much more beautiful, so much more calm, if we take that judgment piece out of our lives.

What 20+ Years In Fashion Taught Me

I have been in the fashion industry for over 20 years. I have had all the experience, and most people think, because I have such a deep history in the industry, I'm the first one to judge someone if they're wearing something wrong. so to say. The minute I tell anyone I'm in the fashion industry, they're like, Oh, don't look in my outfit. I'm not put together, or I'm not trending, and I'm like, I'm not even judging you at all. I'm celebrating that. You actually here, that you showed up, that you're wearing whatever you felt like you wanted to wear that day.

And so people get really nervous around me when it comes to style, but it's actually really kind of the opposite for the people that are diverse in the industry, that have been all around the industry. And I would say the majority of people in the industry come out with a really amazing outlook and are the last to judge. There are some that are superficial and love to judge, but I'm gonna say majority of the people that I have ever met in the industry really appreciate all different types of style, because if you are really versed in fashion and you are comfortable in yourself, you understand the truest form of style. It's not what's in or out. It's about the true expression of how somebody wants to show who they are on the inside with how they dress on the outside.

Switching Your Social Media Mindset

Also, let's get rid of the bullshit about comparing yourself to people on social media. We need to switch our mindset when we approach scrolling on social media. I know sometimes when you're scrolling and you see someone with a brand new car or a big house, and you kind of have this feeling, ugh, I want that. And we always want the things, right? Then you tend to have these negative feelings, maybe, when you're thinking about this person because of possibly jealousy and competition.

I personally have switched that for myself. I get so much joy from seeing people succeed on any sort of my social media. And how did I do this? Well, when I scroll on social media, I am people's biggest cheerleader, like legit proud of them. When I, like, am scrolling, I see someone getting a new car. I like, yeah, girl. Or I see someone posting that, they're getting their body in shape. I'm like, yes, get it. And then I see someone, they just got a gigantic house where they're on a fancy vacation. I'm like, oh my gosh, so proud of this person. They probably worked really hard for this.

So, no matter if it's an influencer or your friend you knew from, like, high school, stop with the jealous BS and cheer them on. Yes, it will be hard at first, but then eventually, when you start being happy for other people, happiness will come your way. And this has totally, totally changed my life and my relationship with social media. It feels very healthy and happy when I go there. It doesn't feel like imposter syndrome. It doesn't feel like jealousy. I truly cheer people on when I am scrolling through social media. And I'm truly happy for people.

Your Mindset Shift For Today

So let's just notice when we are in competition mode and how we can reverse that. Now, remember, competition is not just if you are trying to keep up with the Jones, but it's also, when you're feeling less thin, you are in competition and feeling like you are losing. So let it go, my friend. Get out of the race, find your own lane, go your own pace, and just be, okay, my friends?

I hope this changes a little shift in your mindset of how to create more joy in your life. I am casing your fashion bestie, and I probably won't send a voice memo tomorrow, but maybe the next day, just giving you time to do the implementation, and I will be back in a couple days. Have a good day.

xoxo